Parents all (hopefully) want their children to grow up to be happy, well-adjusted, and successful adults. Making the “right” decisions is tricky; I sometimes have trouble deciding what to have for breakfast! Parenting is no different when it comes to making the “right” choices. With so many different opinions and approaches, it is hard to know what to focus on when it comes to parenting. One area that’s gained a lot of attention in recent years is emotional intelligence (EI), which is the ability to understand and manage emotions, both our own and others.
Research has shown that emotional intelligence is a crucial predictor of success in many areas of life, including academic achievement, job performance, and even mental and physical health. Emotionally intelligent children will likely be more resilient, have better relationships with others, and can better cope with stress and setbacks.
In addition, emotional intelligence is essential in preventing behavioral and emotional problems in children. Children who struggle with emotional intelligence may have trouble regulating their emotions, leading to tantrums, aggression, and other disruptive behaviors. They may also work with social skills, such as empathy, which can lead to difficulties forming and maintaining relationships with others.
Fortunately, there are many simple things that parents and adults can do to help nurture emotional intelligence in children:
1. Label emotions
Help your child learn to identify and label different emotions by name. For example, when your child is upset, you might say, “It looks like you’re feeling angry. Is that right?” This can help your child become more aware of their emotions and better communicate.
2. Validate emotions
When a child is upset, it’s essential to validate their feelings by letting them know their emotions are real and understandable. For example, “I can see that you’re really upset right now. It’s okay to feel that way” is an excellent way to let a child know that they are allowed to experience their emotions.
3. Encourage problem-solving
Help your child learn to problem-solve by encouraging them to devise solutions to problems. For example, if your child is upset because they can’t find a toy, you could try saying, “Are you upset because you can’t find your toy? What do you think we could do to find it?”
4. Be a great emotional role model
Children learn a lot by watching their parents and the adults around them, so it’s important to model healthy emotional regulation ourselves. Take a few deep breaths, go for a walk when you’re feeling stressed, or talk about how you’re feeling when you’re upset. The Little ones around us will learn to do the same when faced with emotional stress.
5. Practice empathy
Help your child develop empathy by encouraging them to think about how others might be feeling. For instance, if your child sees another child crying, you could try, “I wonder why that child is crying. How do you think they might be feeling?” It’s always a good idea (even for us adults) to get in the habit of considering the emotional state of others.
6. Use books and media
Many books, movies, and TV shows can help children learn about emotions and develop emotional intelligence. No matter the age, there are plenty of resources that can help children (and adults) learn to deal with emotions healthily.
We all sometimes get angry, frustrated, overwhelmed, and sometimes happy, excited, anxious, etc. Of course, children are no different. Emotional intelligence is a crucial factor in children’s success and well-being, and there are many simple things that parents and close adults can do to help nurture emotional intelligence in their children. By labeling emotions, encouraging problem-solving, modeling emotional regulation, practicing empathy, etc., we can help our young people develop the skills they need to understand and manage their emotions healthily.